Is this a joke?

This post comes to you from an airplane. One that is headed back to MN not west to JoBerg and eventually Madagascar. After arriving in Philly and settling into our hotel, a few other PCVs and I headed for lunch and before our staging. While waiting in the lobby for staging a rumor surfaced about bad news from Mada. A current volunteer in country posted on our Facebook group about some bad news. This volunteer was not so optimistic that we would actually make it to Mada on Thursday as planned. After turning in a few forms we were all gathered in our staging room. We chatted about how excited we were and how lucky we all were to be going to Madagascar. Everyone agreed it would provide us with tons of opportunities and it would be a priceless experience. The energy in the room was very apparent and every minute seemed to take us closer to our destination. Then it turned to business. Julie and Leonard have been working with our group from the DC office and they introduced themselves. Then another woman introduced herself as one of the people in charge of placing people from Washington. (PC vice pres or something of that stature). I instantly knew that she was not here just to gather forms from us and wish us off. She announced that her news was not good and that we would not be going to Madagascar after all. The situation, although not presently dangerous, had the potential to be so. The military, being controlled by the current government and the President, was no longer supporting the president. Basically the policing force wasn’t going to be protecting anyone. The room was silent. All of the energy had been sucked out and we had nothing but astonished and disappointed looks. After being delayed for an additional month it seemed that our Madagascar dreams would have to wait a little longer, if becoming real at all. Tons of questions poured out about what we were to do now. Our lives had been shaken again and many people were left reeling. Cars had been sold, leases on homes and apartments had expired, Insurance gone, jobs lost. We were a day away and now we were going to be turned back. Never in the history of the PC has a group been turned away at staging and that was a record we did not wish to have. But that is the thing about PC invitees, we are forever searching for ways to be optimistic. Although I found this unbelievably hard to do. We were informed that we were the top priority to be placed. We would be moved ahead of people and they would place us as soon as we would like. Although for many that could be June or July at the earliest. After going over a few logistics we were excused for a couple hours before dinner courtesy of the PC.

There were 31 other people in our group all seemed to be more amazing than the last. Everyone got along beautifully yet we all had to get through this strange news together. That made it much easier for me to bear. WHAT WERE WE GOING TO DO? It seemed that no one knew. We bounced ideas off of each other and tried to grasp what the best decision would be. Yet it seemed different for everyone. A free dinner at Chili’s led to more discussion, it then turned to more personal questions about people’s pasts rather than the hazy future. It was a stress free dinner that left my spirits up. Although the 3 hours of sleep in the past 40 hours was catching up to me. Justin, my roommate a small business volunteer, and I returned to our room to relax and watch some TV. I was no longer in the mood to go out with other volunteers to relieve some of the stress. It was still surreal that night. We were supposed to stay in the hotel that night and catch a flight in the morning yet we knew we would be separating rather than traveling together to our assignment.

So now on the flight to MSP, it is sinking in that the return to MN could be extensive. I will have to face my friends again, some of whom I have said goodbye to twice already. Justin and I shared that same view that we return in a sort of embarrassed state. To me it seems like I have failed twice. Like it is somehow my fault yet I know the problem was half a world away. A problem that many wouldn’t even believe. A former DJ turned politician organizing a coup against the current president who started out owning a yogurt stand on the side of the road. It just seems like a terrible joke someone told me just so they could laugh as I try to hold on to the vision of going. My hope is that most people can read this rather than me having to try to explain it to everyone individually. Frankly, I was already tired of talking about it before I left. Now I have to revisit it for a third, possibly fourth time. But I thank everyone for their love and support, I know it has not been easy on anyone and I look forward to spending some time with you all again soon.