Things that keep me up at night

I get enough sleep. If I dont have to get up early I usually set an alarm anyway so I dont get like 10 hours and feel groggy all day. I normally set my alarm about 8-8.5 hours after I go to bed. On average it has been taking me between a half an hour and an hour to fall asleep. Not ideal because that cuts into my optimum 8.5 hour sleeping regimine. The things that keep me up these days are pretty boring too. If I think about them during the day I think to myself, "who cares, dont worry about it" but they linger before bedtime. Packages falling on me when I worked at UPS were a nightly occurence. 4 hours of stacking packages in walls in semi trailers is a bit repetitive and it just sticks in your mind. The fact that it kept me up at night was rather depressing and a bit well.... stupid. So I quit that job.

Then came the fact that I didnt have as much of an income as I would like. So money kept me up at night. The fact that I am 23 and live at my parents house occupies my mind. I would like to have my own place eventually but that does not look like it is order in the near future. The unknown future is really the kicker. Small things like waiting to start another job can be pushed aside but larger ones like school for the next year of my life or a job interview that seems promising only to not get a call back. So I refer back to my PC days, or my pre PC days of waiting and taking whatevers there, which I hated. So there goes another 30 minutes off of my 8.5 hours.

I think about the people in Tanzania a lot too. Even though more and more are returning to the USA from my volunteer class, I still wonder how my friends are doing a half a world away. I only knew those people for 3 months but its hard to forget those people because of their attitudes and the experiences that we shared which are so foreign to the rest of the people I know.

So I have thought about moving my alarm back to maybe 9.5 hours to accomodate for this restlessness before sleep but I am too optimistic that the day will come when my mind isnt so jittery. I would have never thought that within a couple months span I would lose sleep over how my house is not snake proff and the rats that live there might just be enticing some in as well as the fact that I live with my parents in their house with a full kitchen and indoor plumbing. How is it possible that both bother me? I am not sure. A restless body waiting for the right opportunity I think.

"Timing is everything" and "If it feels good, do it" Two sayings that seem to rule my life. But the first always limits and the second always changes.