Low Efficiency

I have been having one of those days.. make that 5 days. I have a long list of things to do: taxes, going to the bank, fixing my car, getting my hair cut, letters of intent, talking to profs, making calls to people all over campus.. im applying for the Masters program in Geography so I THOUGHT I had a bunch of shit to do with little time to accomplish it. Last sunday, i woke up early after working til 5 the night before. And early for me is noon so I eat breakfast quick so I can get lunch before 2. After deciding what is most important on my list I head over to my parents house to make some copies and print some paperwork so I can start checking things off my list. I get all my paperwork done for taxes and get half of what I need to get to Professors ready to go. But the clock is ticking and I grab a bit of food before going home to chill a bit before work. Another close shift and Sunday has vanished before I get anything crossed off my list.

Thats ok, Monday has potential. I have 3 or 4 hours to run up to campus and finish off the Masters paperwork. Good plan... up until I sleep til 2 and have to work at 430. No time for campus so I just skip monday as far as productivity goes.

Tuesday rolls around and laundry calls so that kills a good two hours before I have class. So by noon Im up to campus for 5 hours. By the time I get done with listening to 4 hours of lecture all I want to do is eat. After eating I realize I have actually gotten nothing accomplished all week. I have been acting like making a few edits on my tax forms would take hours but it literally takes 5 minutes but cant manage to get anything else done. I had to work close so I took a nap and called that good enough for today. Work 10 to 4AM. Things are actually going to be accomplished... tomorrow.

Wednesday. My day off from work and school. I set my alarm for 12 noon and by 130 I am at the bank making a much needed deposit and the Post office to send some mail that has been sitting at my desk for a week. I go up to campus to meet with a couple profs but when I get there, I find out that I had read the office hours incorrectly and neither of the professors are there. I make good use of my time by actually printing off the rest of paperwork. But that is boring so I go home to get some quick food, and in another hour I am playing racquetball and an hour after that on to Volleyball. Wednesday. Nice work, almost.

Thursday. Class at 1. But my car needs to get fixed before that and the only computer time available before that is 8-10. So because my sweet major uses really awesome computer programs, we only have 1 computer lab on campus that will actually work. Which means we GIS students are at the mercy of the schedule. So a day after I go to sleep at 5 AM because of work, I get to wake up at 7 AM because of school. Dont worry my efficiency is beginning to rise and my list is shorter. I finish my schoolwork in an hour and I actually get a nap in before dropping my car off and heading to campus. Thursday is lab day in class so I am free to wander around the Geography Department talking to people I should have talked to week ago. But its OK I have all the paperwork and its in their hands now. I walk in and talk to Carol, the Geography Secretary, and she informs me that there was some confusion about my application... REeeallly long story but I didnt actually need to apply to the program because I apparently already did. So all of the running around I had been doing, the copying of paperwork, the letter of intent, the meetings with professors was a complete waste of time and energy. I couldnt believe it but was actually relieved that I could check everything off my list, completed or not.

My list on sunday was comprised of about 10 things and now is finally finished. Total time occupied by checking things off that turned out to be irrelevant about 10 hours. Total time spent checking off the rest... about 3 hours, if you count laundry which took 2.5.

Procrastination... On sunday it didnt bother me, time was no big deal. Monday was a wash because I didnt care. Tuesday I made some progress but once again got nothing checked off. Wednesday got some things done but still couldnt finish. Thursday all ready to check everything off then figure out most of it was just stressful and time consuming. So a lesson learned? Hardly. One week done, next week is midterms so as true to college student form, more procrastination. Because with everything checked off my list, the only thing on my mind is a bottle of wine and what time I have to set my alarm for tomorrow. I will worry about whatever later because if I really wanted to stress out well... I wouldnt have to look to far ahead.

Like a good book you cant put down

Generally most of my time is spent watching. Computer screens, tvs, people. Whatever needs my attention. And now with the NFL and college football seasons starting I watch quite a bit more. Both of my classes require quite a bit of time on the computer and our lectures mainly take place as we sit in front of computer screens.
Last thursday I had my GPS class. After watching our prof. painfully go through a powerpoint that took over an hour, we got to lab time. This is only our second week of lab so we are still figuring out the GPS receivers that we are using. For this lab we were suppose to go out and collect some points around campus. We needed to collect multiple points at three different locations but with time in between. (If that doesnt make sense dont worry, half of our class did it wrong because our TA didnt explain it) Either way I am lab partners with the weird kid who kind of smells funny. So i get to walk around campus for an hour and a half making small talk with this kid. Awkward. I handed him the GPS so he could do all the work. This enabled me to do some quality people watching. I realized how much I missed being on a college campus wasting time. So lets delve into what I noticed last thursday afternoon.

There are plenty of weird looking college students. Lots of individual spirits. People who dont care how they look or what other people think of them and people who care to much about their image. The clothes dont interest me as much as the facial expressions. Every expression imaginable is seen in between classes out by the fountain or in the cafeteria. I just wonder what thoughts are provoking this enthusiastic look? Are you really having that good of a day? Or does a D on a test really cause you to look like you want to cause the sandwich lady bodily harm?

Most people you see are walking somewhere, on their way to class or to get some food. People watching in class is a different situation and a potentially dangerous and creepy one. I walk alone almost exclusively, except for our GPS lab adventure. Other people walk in groups, with friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, teammates whatever. One of my favorites is the group that is to big to avoid in the hallway and that is nearly impenetrable. These people have seemingly come from the same place and are all going to the same class. If you get stuck behind them you are in danger of being associated with them, and eyes could be rolled in your direction.

People also multitask constantly. I listen to my ipod. A very popular choice. Others choose to talk on their phones which I find weird because anyone can overhear your conversation as you walk. Walking and talking is not as disruptive as walking and texting though. Texting diverts your eyes and you better hope you can walk in a straight line and you know where you are going otherwise you can be in trouble. Its not like the sidewalks are empty on campus. There are people everywhere, many texting and not looking ahead like you. Bikers cruise around people and longboarders who dont have much control because they obviously just picked up on the fad try to avoid people as well. So these people who text either are overly cautious, walk slow and stop to look up every once in a while, or just dont care and get in other peoples way. Funny either way.

My thoughts are drifting though as I try and watch football and think about people watching at the same time. So as important as listening, talking, interacting, reading and all of that is my favorite still might be watching. You can get a lot of information from watching people, fabricated or real. You decide.

The whats up

So apparently there are a lot of new things with me. Thats just what people tell me. It all kind of seems the same to me. Dont get me wrong, I am excited with the changes but they just pale in comparison.
For starters I moved out of the parents house. I moved a whole 6 blocks away. I just cant bring myself to move out of Lower North. I moved in with some friends so gone are the days of my own kitchen and bathroom. However they are a little more entertaining than my parents (sorry but its true) and the cats.
I got into grad school at MNSU or MSU or whatever you want to call it. I am in the geography It graduate program and I am taking classes for a Graduate level certificate in GIS. So Ill break down GIS for everyone right now to clear things up. Simply put GIS is computer mapping and analysis. The certificate program is designed to familiarize students with the different ways to make maps and different software to use. Right now I have 2 classes. One is cartography. A class I didnt take at Gustavus and now they are making me take it for my certificate. Fine whatever. The reason I didnt take it at Gustavus was because I didnt think I would learn anything new. So now I get to hang out with a bunch of undergrads and learn how to make maps. Should be fun and dare I say.... really pretty easy. I hope. The other class I have right now is Issues in Geographic Techniques. It consists of field trips. Thats pretty much it. That and writing papers. This class is full of thesis track masters people and me. Quite the opposite end of the spectrum but I should learn a lot from these people. We will be going to places where people use technology to make maps and use GIS and all that cool stuff. So its all exciting. I forgot how much I love going to class, wandering around on a college campus people watching, and messing around on computers making maps.
I am also working. 2 days of class a week wont explain being unemployed. I deliver pizza for Toppers Pizza. I have been doing it for maybe 2 months now and its not bad at all. I work about 20 hours a week and make some sweet tips from all the stingy college kids. No sarcasm there, I actually make awesome tips because we deliver a shit load of pizza. So most of the time I am driving, listening to The Current, BBC news, KFAN, whatever doesnt suck. Which is sometimes everything. If im not driving I am taking orders from people on the phone which is occasionally hilarious but most often pedestrian. And then I wash dishes and fold boxes. I still havent mastered the art of pizza box folding but I dont really try. Some kids are rediculous at it.

Oh and I am hopefully getting another job so I dont have to donate plasma anymore, going to San Diego over spring break and getting another tattoo probably within a month or so. Ill explain that later. Im tired of blogging.

Big Red Trucks

So winter is here in Minnesota. Snow, shitty roads and more snow. As I was driving to work one day I happened to stop at a light next to this huge loud red truck. The type that is lifted and made louder because this guy is awesome and you need to pay attention to him. I was in the outside lane of a double turn lane and he on the inside. As the light changed he sped ahead of me and took my lane after the curve. My words were probably something like 'douchebag you would'. But as I came up behind him at the next light I noticed his bumper stickers. The typical Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes, peeing on something. To my surprise it wasn't the Ford Logo (Another bumper sticker told me this guy drove a Chevy). Calvin was peeing on Iraq. This man had two of these bumper stickers in his back window along with a bumper sticker right above his back bumper that read 'Dont piss me off, I might confuse you for an Iraqi' This just baffled me.

I began mentally tearing this man apart and making fun of him from the comforts of my own car and his deaf ears. 'Good thing they didnt put a map of Iraq on that bumper sticker, he probably wouldn't know what it was' But it was the lower bumper sticker that really bothered me. I wondered if this man was pissed off at all Iraqis. He surely must be because otherwise he could have excluded the Kurds, who have nothing to do with the current religious turmoil. Or he could have excluded the innocent civilians who are put in danger everyday because of the religious Sunni AND Shia radicals who create the problems. Maybe this man knows more than I do, maybe he is a member of our armed forces... nope, no such bumper stickers telling me about his credentials, no license plate detailing his military career. So I am sorry but I held back as much as I could. Part of me would like to meet this person to find out how he actually came about the idea to put these bumper stickers on his truck for everyone to see. Bold move. I'm guessing this guy doesn't really care though. No skin off my back either. I just hope this guy knows that whenever he drives his truck he is subjecting himself to countless stereotypes and more people than not probably think less of him just by reading his truck. I surely wouldn't want people to judge me without ever even shaking my hand. But its a free country. Do whatever man.

The question I really want to know is where he got these bumper stickers. Who sells them? Do you need to get them from some anti-Iraq website or can you get them at Wal-Mart? Do the vendors of these stickers sell out? Can I get one in a different font? Can I get a 'Hug and Iraqi' bumper sticker too? Can I get a Calvin pissing on France or China? Because I really need to start putting my uniformed world views on my car so people can judge me.

Things that keep me up at night

I get enough sleep. If I dont have to get up early I usually set an alarm anyway so I dont get like 10 hours and feel groggy all day. I normally set my alarm about 8-8.5 hours after I go to bed. On average it has been taking me between a half an hour and an hour to fall asleep. Not ideal because that cuts into my optimum 8.5 hour sleeping regimine. The things that keep me up these days are pretty boring too. If I think about them during the day I think to myself, "who cares, dont worry about it" but they linger before bedtime. Packages falling on me when I worked at UPS were a nightly occurence. 4 hours of stacking packages in walls in semi trailers is a bit repetitive and it just sticks in your mind. The fact that it kept me up at night was rather depressing and a bit well.... stupid. So I quit that job.

Then came the fact that I didnt have as much of an income as I would like. So money kept me up at night. The fact that I am 23 and live at my parents house occupies my mind. I would like to have my own place eventually but that does not look like it is order in the near future. The unknown future is really the kicker. Small things like waiting to start another job can be pushed aside but larger ones like school for the next year of my life or a job interview that seems promising only to not get a call back. So I refer back to my PC days, or my pre PC days of waiting and taking whatevers there, which I hated. So there goes another 30 minutes off of my 8.5 hours.

I think about the people in Tanzania a lot too. Even though more and more are returning to the USA from my volunteer class, I still wonder how my friends are doing a half a world away. I only knew those people for 3 months but its hard to forget those people because of their attitudes and the experiences that we shared which are so foreign to the rest of the people I know.

So I have thought about moving my alarm back to maybe 9.5 hours to accomodate for this restlessness before sleep but I am too optimistic that the day will come when my mind isnt so jittery. I would have never thought that within a couple months span I would lose sleep over how my house is not snake proff and the rats that live there might just be enticing some in as well as the fact that I live with my parents in their house with a full kitchen and indoor plumbing. How is it possible that both bother me? I am not sure. A restless body waiting for the right opportunity I think.

"Timing is everything" and "If it feels good, do it" Two sayings that seem to rule my life. But the first always limits and the second always changes.

Cheza mpira.... play ball

Well i just wanted to add a little kiswahili. Which brings up the fact that I need a new name for my blog.

Since I have been back there is really only one thing that I have done consistently. Watch sports. I dearly missed it this summer and I have come back at one of the most interesting, some say best times of the year for sports. I disagree. I enjoy superbowl/masters/march madness but anyway. I come back to the start of the NFL season, Sunday and Monday night. College Football, Thursday night and all day Saturday. Baseball which is generally friday, saturday... well actually every night of the week. So I have pretty much every night of the week if I want to watch sports. And I have pretty much done so. It doesnt really matter who is on the screen I will watch it. For baseball teams they have to be good and I generally dont watch the entire game. Most of the time I am watching something else and I switch back in between pitches/innings. I cant say that I am the most diehard baseball fan. College football usually works the other way. Saturdays consist of watching multiple games while dodging comercials, half time shows and gaps in coverage. It is beautiful. In tanzania I would remember how much time is spent watching tv or simply listening to it while doing something else. Then I think of all the terrible shows that other people are watching. Lets say I watch the same amount of tv as another person, taking into account I am uneployed and have little else to do. 3+ hours of tv a night. While the average persons might consist of the local news, a sitcom or 2 and some garbage network drama or even worse reality tv, I am watching sports. Entertaining, an industry I would rather support than a network that churns out reality tv shows and the same old police dramas. My sports are supplemented with the national geographic channel, animal planet or I have recently found the Green channel. Thanks to mom and dad for expanding their tv options. And my night normally ends up with an episode of south park, the daily show or colbert report, whatever comedy central provides me.

A little sporadic I know, but that has been my life in the past couple weeks. Who the hell knows what will happen next week and I dont even think about next month or year. And to end a bit of my poetic side, thanks go to my host family in Tanga, TZ. 6-29-09 Enjoy the rhyme scheme.

Mangos migrate to me
Alliteration abouds when asking around.

Talking in prose aint as bad as youd spose

Baba's two phones so hes never alone
Pushing god, who knows
just to feed the watotos
Swahili's no cakewalk
how'd I ever learn to talk
Gonna eat that embe
just as soon as it turns day

Im proud of these lines
not much more than fine
This poem aint dead
But im at the kerosene's end.

back

Im sure some of you know, I am back in the US, back in Minnesota and back in Mankato. I arrived back in the states last thursday after deciding to resign my position in PC Tanzania. There were many things that led me to that decision and frankly, it would take a while to explain it all. My thought process was pretty complicated and I am not sure I understand it all fully. In the end it was a personal, gut decision that told me I did not want to live in Tanzania for the next two years of my life. I'll give you a few of the "highlights" that led to me coming home and maybe you will begin to get the idea.

I began my PC application almost two years ago. I started over thanksgiving break of my senior year of college. A lot has changed since then. Two years ago I wanted to see the world and have an adventure. Do something challenging. At the same time it was an excuse that I used so I wouldnt have to look for a job or check out grad schools. But after waiting a year after college, getting paid very little for work that had no pertinence to my future, living at home with no car of my own and saving what little money I could, I felt like DOing something. Right now, the slow pace of the PC and the few tangible benefits left me feeling ... unsatisfied.

My experience in the PC was not as sour as I might be making it seem. Training was amazing, my Tanzanian host family was incredibly inviting and helped me out tremendously. My fellow volunteers were awesome. Full of cool people with amazing past experiences and wonderful views on the future. Incredibly driven people with truely good intentions. As training went on and life at our site loomed, it dawned on me that I was not as excited as others. I was excited for a change of scenery but not so much to live on my own and begin "work". I realized my personal motivation would be tested and I it ultimatly dawned on me that it was not as strong as I had thought.

And my immune system never seemed to agree with the food and water I was consuming. I was sick a few times during training but never for more than a few days and my family took care of me well. I wouldnt say I was healthy when I went so my site after swearing in and within a week I was incredibly sick. I took a trip to Dar Es Salaam to get medical attention and I began thinking about what I was doing in Tanzania. I began realizing how important health was to not only myself but to everyone who lives in a rural environment so far away from healthy food and medical attention. This didnt make me feel very good considering the hospital in my area was not adequate and my trip to town for a balanced diet was nearly impossible if under the weather. So the sickness put me in a bad mood and rather pessimistic about my whole situation but I was not going to allow myself to make a decision I would regret while I was pissed off and sick. I recovered after getting some medication for intestinal bacteria. After discussing my feelings with PC staff I told them I needed to give site another chance.

I returned to my site healthy and in a relatively good mood. However, I quickly confirmed my earlier feelings that this was not going to work for me. I did not feel like I could live in my village for 2 years and I didnt see the point in sticking around for very much longer. I could not act as if I was going to help the people of the village when I had already made up my mind. I called PC on friday and let them know I would be in Dar by Monday and I wanted to resign and return home.

After a few days in Dar filling out paper work and getting everything straight I had a flight for wednesday night. And about 27 hours after leaving Dar I arrived in MSP on thursday afternoon to an entirely different world. Personal vehicles, fast food and 4 lane highways. It feels very good to be home. So I figure I will watch some tv, cruise the web and look for a job. Catch up with friends and family. Enjoy the weather and wait for that first snow fall.