back

Im sure some of you know, I am back in the US, back in Minnesota and back in Mankato. I arrived back in the states last thursday after deciding to resign my position in PC Tanzania. There were many things that led me to that decision and frankly, it would take a while to explain it all. My thought process was pretty complicated and I am not sure I understand it all fully. In the end it was a personal, gut decision that told me I did not want to live in Tanzania for the next two years of my life. I'll give you a few of the "highlights" that led to me coming home and maybe you will begin to get the idea.

I began my PC application almost two years ago. I started over thanksgiving break of my senior year of college. A lot has changed since then. Two years ago I wanted to see the world and have an adventure. Do something challenging. At the same time it was an excuse that I used so I wouldnt have to look for a job or check out grad schools. But after waiting a year after college, getting paid very little for work that had no pertinence to my future, living at home with no car of my own and saving what little money I could, I felt like DOing something. Right now, the slow pace of the PC and the few tangible benefits left me feeling ... unsatisfied.

My experience in the PC was not as sour as I might be making it seem. Training was amazing, my Tanzanian host family was incredibly inviting and helped me out tremendously. My fellow volunteers were awesome. Full of cool people with amazing past experiences and wonderful views on the future. Incredibly driven people with truely good intentions. As training went on and life at our site loomed, it dawned on me that I was not as excited as others. I was excited for a change of scenery but not so much to live on my own and begin "work". I realized my personal motivation would be tested and I it ultimatly dawned on me that it was not as strong as I had thought.

And my immune system never seemed to agree with the food and water I was consuming. I was sick a few times during training but never for more than a few days and my family took care of me well. I wouldnt say I was healthy when I went so my site after swearing in and within a week I was incredibly sick. I took a trip to Dar Es Salaam to get medical attention and I began thinking about what I was doing in Tanzania. I began realizing how important health was to not only myself but to everyone who lives in a rural environment so far away from healthy food and medical attention. This didnt make me feel very good considering the hospital in my area was not adequate and my trip to town for a balanced diet was nearly impossible if under the weather. So the sickness put me in a bad mood and rather pessimistic about my whole situation but I was not going to allow myself to make a decision I would regret while I was pissed off and sick. I recovered after getting some medication for intestinal bacteria. After discussing my feelings with PC staff I told them I needed to give site another chance.

I returned to my site healthy and in a relatively good mood. However, I quickly confirmed my earlier feelings that this was not going to work for me. I did not feel like I could live in my village for 2 years and I didnt see the point in sticking around for very much longer. I could not act as if I was going to help the people of the village when I had already made up my mind. I called PC on friday and let them know I would be in Dar by Monday and I wanted to resign and return home.

After a few days in Dar filling out paper work and getting everything straight I had a flight for wednesday night. And about 27 hours after leaving Dar I arrived in MSP on thursday afternoon to an entirely different world. Personal vehicles, fast food and 4 lane highways. It feels very good to be home. So I figure I will watch some tv, cruise the web and look for a job. Catch up with friends and family. Enjoy the weather and wait for that first snow fall.

My first solo trip to Dar

So my sickness continued to a point where I could no longer function at my site. I am an hour bike ride away from the road and a two hour ride from town which is just physically to demanding to do when you feel like garbage. Fed up with feeling like crap and not knowing why, I called the medical office and took a trip to Dar to figure it all out. So with a headache that wouldnt leave me alone and a temperature hovering around 102 that kept me in a constant sweat, I got into Mafinga to board the bus which was supposed to be there at 8. I was told it was late because of all the police road blocks so at about 10 I was informed the bus would be there shortly. About 20 minutes later I watched my bus fly past the bus stand and I half chased after if for a few hundred feet. I then went to the guy who sold me the ticket and he assured me in swahili that I will get on the next bus. So this guy sold my ticked to another bus line and put me on another bus which was over capacity a bit. So i stood but I was finally in my way to Dar not much more than 3 hours behind schedule. I was crammed into the back seat of the bus with 4 other adults and 2 children. About an hour and a half later one man left and I took over the window seat, thank god, I was burning alive. So I sat there straining my neck looking out the window trying to keep cool. You are of course not advised to fall asleep on public transportation because you things will almost undoubtedly get stolen. So after a 3 hour night of sleep the night before I sat there sweating instead. We made 2 stops, 1 I actually got out, used the bathroom and bought some juice. At the other I just bought stuff from the vendors that shove shit inside your open windows and they yell prices at you. Of course the woman next to me had to buy eggs so she leaned completely over my lap as I am trying to drink my mango juice and yelled at the guy with her head out the window. So she paid for the eggs brought them back inside and then yelled at the guy right infront of my face for some chumvi, salt of course. I couldnt shut the window fast enough so no one else could buy anything. With the window closed the temperature soared somewhere near boiling point i am sure. So by the time we got back on the road after the second stop we were still over 4 hours out of Dar and nightfall was not much more than an hour off. Another man from the back row departed at our second stop so that left an empty seat next to me. This was soon snatched by a child who prefered to stand up and look out the back window. I wasnt excited. The thought of putting my feet up... to good to be true. Shortly after dark, about an hour from Dar the child gets restless. He gets up and looks out the window again but something is definetly different. An odor fills the back row that apparently only I notice. I slam my window open all the way and stick my head almost fully outside. This child had surely just pooped his pants. I had no doubt about it. After a bit i bring my head back inside and find the mother checking the pants of the young culprit. Apparently she finds nothing worthy of action and leave the child alone. So for the rest of the ride I choose polution and exhaust over the smell of human feces. As we pull into the bus terminal, I remind myself not to touch the seat as it could have been smeared anywhere. So I get a ride with some taxi driver who has decided to screw me for everythign I own tonight, this was the first taxi ride i had been on where the price just kept escalating after we had already negotiated it. If i had anything in my stomach this would be the time to throw it up in his back seat. That would have been sweet but insteat I pay this man a rediculous amount of money and go into the hotel for the night.

I have been in dar now for a week. Getting healthy so I can return to site. It has taken a while but I think everything that was wrong with me is better now. I havent felt this good in probably close to a month. I still have not really checked out my market town of Mafinga yet. There are a couple of internet cafes there which I could concievably get to once a week. so for now I will leave you. there are still more test results that need to be known.

this and that... creative i know

7-03ish
Its funny how things can change so quickly. I started writing this post about an hour ago. I was ready to pull my hair out after struggling with my brain for hours. It had taken a vacation, with little intent to return. Kiswahili lessons just werent sticking and I didnt know why. I tried to relax a bit as I took the short walk back to my house but I wasnt even able to find responses to simple hello's and hows the news. So that left me more frustrated and I entered my house to find some company that I had to interact with as well. After failing to say anything coherent in kiswahili I felt like an infant. Even after playing catch/soccer with my Kaka (brother) I still wasnt balanced. Maybe it was my blood sugar level or just my attitude but after eating, my whole aura changed. As I sat in near silence with my Baba (dad) eating simple rice and cassava, my body cooled. We exchanged simple sentences about our day, tomorrows plans and even what we are going to do this weekend. I understood nearly every word and his calm demeanor extended to me. So they day is near end and I finished the day like I started it, excited for what is to come and knowingly blocking out the obstacles that I will undoubtedly encounter in the days, even hours ahead.
Training has been pretty amazing so far. My host family has had some medical issues and tonight was the first night they have all been together in our house at the same time since I got here a week ago. Everyone is healthy now (including me Mom) and they are really making it easy for me to learn from them. They know few words of english but they talk slowly and clearly. To understand them I do 3 things. 1. I actually understand the words and know what they mean. 2. I can figure out what they are talking about using non-verbals, etc. 3. I repeat it back to them slowly with a confused look on my face, say Sijui (I dont know) shrug my shoulders and laugh. I have survived so far using those 3 things and it is only supposed to get easier right?
As far as our actually training we are in the language and culture phase. We have language lessons with our group of 4 volunteers and 1 language and cross cultural facilitator in our village. We learn kiswahili from 8 AM to 4 or 5 PM. With breaks for Chai and lunch, and of course we take random walks when our brains freeze from lack of english. It is a process... A long process but totall immersion has to be the best way to do it?
OK so back to my family. I will try and put it in American family tree terms because otherwise no one would understand anything. In other words you would be like me for the first couple days here. Wondering who is who while trying to tell how they are all actually related. Simply, Tanzanians have extened family circles and blood ties just dont matter some times. So day 1 I am pretty sure I met everyone who actually lives in our house. Mama and Baba, 4 girls and 3 boys. When I woke up Mama was gone with one of the girls. Of course I didnt notice this in my flustered state. I found out later that day that one of the young girls, actually the first born of the second daughter, so my niece, was moved to the regional hospital not far away due to malaria and other complications. So I tried to talk to Baba about how she was doing on a daily basis but it isnt common to describe someone as unhealthy so I didnt get the real scoop on her condition. So in Mama's absence my 3 Dada's (actually my sisters) were left to make sure i didnt starve and kept myself clean. There are also 3 Kakas who roam the grounds. 2 younger boys who are the second youngest daughters children. The oldest kaka is the son of the oldest daughter who lives in the regional capital. Baba and Mama also have an older son, whom I met while visiting my niece in the hostpital last sunday. So to recap.... 2 parents, 5 children (3 live here) 1 niece and 3 nephews.



So im posting multiple posts at once. saving some shilingi and some computer life. Get used to it. I probably wont know how regularily I will be able to post until september or something after I have been at my site for a while. Cell phone is coming and if you send me snail mail I have plenty of time to write back.


7-16
Well I have officially lived in Tanzania for a month now. I havent seen any cool animals save for a couple of monkeys, a dead python, a millipede and tons of lizards. I have sweated in the night as the temp wavers in the 80/90s? and I have worn a jacket during the day because the rain and clouds wounldnt warm the air enough. I have washed my clothes by hand and put them out to dry on the line only to have it rain later that day. I have pooped into a hole. Showered with a pitcher and a bucket of water. Brushed my teeth with no water to spit. Eaten countless oranges immediatly after I had just picked them from a tree and peeled them with my knife. Been delivered mangos by boys who I met earlier in the day. The only words I could put together were "I like to eat mangos". I then peeled and ate them on my porch as the sun set behind the house and the lantern lit the pit and the peel as it lay on the dirt. I have shaved as I monitored my face in a mirror no bigger than my outstreched hand. I have ran before dawn on a dirt track as the sun quickly rose over the mountains.I have sat on the beach looking at the waves of the Indian Ocean as I drank a beer. Played euchre with real people not on the internet. Tried to use the internet as I managed a couple of emails in an hour. Although and hour of internet costs not even a dollar, I am more mad about my wasted time. I have stared at the sky as stars emerged, foreign to my eyes yet old as time itself. I have shook the hand of people with no teeth, people with a couple of teeth, people with less than 10 fingers, people with no shoes on, people with no shirts on, people with suits and ties on, people who know 3 languages, people who dont even know 1, children who are afraid of white people, diplomats and poor farmers. I wish I could tell you more about all of those people but presently language is my crutch. I have fallen asleep at 8, fallen asleep at 11 and some nights not even fallen asleep at all. I have been awoken by rain on my tin roof, people arguing, loud music, trucks on the highway in my front yard, cries from native burial rituals, dogs barking, and roosters before dawn. I never know what to expect from day to day and that is why I am here. I learn something new everyday and somedays I have to relearn things I have forgotten from the day before. I have wondered about friends and family, on this continent and others. I have laughed a lot, at myself as much as others. I have cried. I have not loved every minute of it but I have more good stories than bad.

Alive in Africa

Alright so i wrote a post on my laptop and saved it to a thumb drive in hopes that I could just transfer to my blog. Things dont work so smoothly here I guess. SO heres a jist and ill post the rest whenever I can. A week, A month who knows....

I have arrived safe and sound here in Tanzania. Right now we were at a compound in the Capital Dar es Salaam. There are 35 volunteers in health and environment and we have been going through administative stuff, safetly health and some language training. tomorrow we are leaving for our homestays in the north near Tanga. There I will be alone with a family and be studying with a small language group of volunteers. Language and culture will be pretty intense and hopeully it wont be to akward or difficult.

So the dish on the blog will be I will update as much as i can. IDk if my homestay will have elextricity or running water and who knows that muheza will be like. I hope they have some usable usb ports here. otherwise you will haev to settle for poorly spelled, sporadic posts. so hold on tight. I will be doing the same.

salama

running low

So I am once again a week away from departure. I have been really busy working and seeing friends and family. Work tires me out which leaves little energy to learn about the land and culture that I will soon be immersed in. This bothers me a little but I am not sweating it to much. I guess I just assume that the important things will be taught to me in training or on the fly. I talked to a fellow Mankatoan, Eric, who is in Tanzania teaching with the Peace Corps. He had positive things to say and that that eased some of the tension that has been building in the past few weeks. I feel like I am ready for the challenge. I am ready to learn, ready to test my skills, ready to experience, ready to succeed, ready to help. A trip to Wal-Mart and as I browsed through the electronics section a video of the sherengheti played. Almost surreal.
The last couple weeks since my last post have been fun. Another canoe trip, this time down the low waters of the Blue Earth River. Rapids and rocks everywhere and Tom and I wrapped his canoe around a rock crushing the fiberglass hull. It was fun though. I love being on the water, charting paths around obstacles and it makes it better being with friends who enjoy being there as well. Days on the lake, absorbing sun and taking dips in the chilly waters. A friends wedding was my last real chance to see all of my high school friends. It was a blast. Drinking and dancing the night away. I would have fun doing almost anything with these people. Hopefully I wont miss to many of those opportunities in the next 2 years. If it seems that I am short on words that would be accurate. I think that talking about my future for the past couple days has left me....

Road Trippin

So after working for 2 weeks for the city I decided to take some time off. Actually my friend Jason was moving down to Florida for a summer internship and I promised I would head down with him to keep him company. Braun decided to accompany us as well.

The road trip started with a quick jaunt over to Chicago. A friend, Kane, now goes to school there and was nice enough to give us a place to stay and show us around for the night. We got there around 830 and after an hour or two of just chilling and watching tv, we made our way down to Wrigleyville. A pretty quick cab ride brought us right past the famous ballpark and to a bar a block or so away. We arrived to see the last 10 minutes or so of the ‘Hawks game. Tied at 5 when we go there. Bartenders and patrons were all dressed in jerseys or shirts and within a minute of walking in the Blackhawks had scored and the fans were going crazy. Free drinks were handed out and another goal in the next couple of minutes got the fans going again. The Blackhawks sealed the deal and more free drinks were on their way. A pretty good time at the bar led to our decision to take some pictures in front of wrigley field and we eventually took the L Train home at 2 in the morning. 10 hours in a car through Chicago, Indianapolis (Indiana is quite possibly the most boring state to drive through) Louisville and Nashville and eventually a tiny town just inside of Alabama. A few of Jason’s distant relatives let us stay at their place for the night. It was a long night after a long day. Shooting pool and listening to crazy stories that were hard to believe. This eventually led to Tim (Jason’s 3rd cousin) trying to trade some Alabama gear for the MSU shirt off of Braun’s back. This wasn’t very successful. After Tim tried on his entire wardrobe in front of us no deal was made. So Jason and I shared a twin size bed with loaded guns underneath it and knives in the bedstand.
The next day our goal was to make it the 11 hours to Port Charlotte but around 9 PM we arrived in Gainesville. A quick decision to check out their campus and grab a drink turned into staying the night in a hotel. We checked out the football stadium and got some pictures by the gator. Some beer on a patio and no Tim Tebow sighting and we called it a night.
So Thursday we finally made it to our destination. We quick dropped our stuff off and headed for the beach. We chilled there for a couple of hours and actually took it easy that night. The exhaustion had set in.

Day 2 in Port Charlotte and we hit the beach around noon. It was partly cloudy so we hit the water. After just floating around I picked up a shell that we threw around for entertainment. Pretty boring stuff. Braun decided to swim some laps and went out a bit further. As he came in he brought a friend with him. Following behind him about 20 feet was a large black object looming below the surface. Obviously we were freaked out. And began backpedaling towards the shore keeping our eyes on the killer shark/dolphin/submarine. As we got back to about waist deep water a few others noticed the object as well and were more curious than we were. One man strapped on his goggles and decided to check it out further. He hovered looking at it briefly then surfaced. He had a smile on his face and motioned for his wife to come over. It was no shark. Just a lost manatee. Obviously that was pretty cool. It was just swimming slowly around and we all reached out to touch it. It kinda felt like an elephant I guess but parts of it were covered in algae or something. As more people gathered around to check out our new friend, other beachgoers weren’t as happy to be seeing this manatee interact with humans. Two women began yelling at everyone. “You are going to kill it.” “You will be arrested” “It will get lost and die here” “I will give you 2 minutes to get away from it.“ Naturally I thought these ladies were a little crazy and were taking this a bit to seriously. And this was a once in a lifetime chance to see a live manatee in the wild so I didn’t really care that I was going to be arrested.
But the manatee was losing interest with us as well and it wandered farther down the beach where more people surrounded it and those ladies continued to yell at people. A cool moment somewhat ruined by these ultra conservationists. But anyway it was way past lunch time so we went to grab lunch at a beachside grill.

The volleyball nets had been taunting us with either no one playing on them or people who were clearly not worthy. As we came back from lunch we saw a ball flying through the air and we checked them out to see if they were any good. As we walked by randomly this guy asked if we wanted to play. We jumped at the opportunity and played a few games to get our kick. A nice little rain shower cooled us off a bit but by the end of the day I was still fried. Our volleyball friends invited us to come out to a bar with a live band later that night. Pitchers of Beer and Pool. They were pretty fun dudes.

So 2 hours of sleep later and we were off to the airport. A long trip and a short stay but it was worth it. Now I am back to work and preparing for Tanzania. Staging is set and I still have no idea who is in my group. Oh well I guess that will make staging that much more fun.

I guess you can call them accidents

Another few weeks of unemployment. Not that I'm not enjoying waking up at 10 everyday and having very little on my plate save for donating plasma twice a week, but im bored. So with the nice weather has led me outside for some spring time activities. This of course brings up the opportunity for blunders. Not that I am not familiar in a canoe or on my bike, but accidents do happen. So here are a couple stories to keep you interested.
Thanks to Tom, we had a GPS adventure at 7 Mile Creek for a couple of hours that led to the idea of a canoe adventure the next day. Tom and I, as well as Mitch and Tom's friend Kramer rented a canoe to go along with the one Tom owns. In the spring high water we decided to try a smaller river we had never attempted before. Although the day was in the 50s it lacked the consistent sunlight that would have made it extraordinary. We loaded everything up and drove to the Le Sueur River a couple miles out of town. Mitch jumped in with me and Kramer teamed up with Tom in his canoe. The start was a little slow and the water wasnt very high. We had to portage around a couple of down trees but the river picked up speed and depth quickly. High banks led to very little scenery and slapping oars at carp was our only entertainment for half of the trip. But then the Cobb River entered in and we had the rapids we craved. Both canoes were side by side rounding a quick curve. Tom and Kramer were cruising by us on the outside, a touch fast. They quickly realized they were doomed to crash into a tree which was spread out on the outside bank. Kramer found the log first and dove under it but Tom was not as fortunate. He instinctively hugged onto the log but the river current was to strong. He tried to duck under but as he did the inside edge of their canoe went under. They were taking on water quickly. Mitch and I couldnt help but break out laughing as Tom's look of terror and the frigid water were too funny. Kramer ditched the canoe and we noticed him floating down the river. Our first instincts were to go after him but we realized he was fine and almost to shore our attention shifted to Tom. He was about 10 feet away from out canoe and he fretishly asked me what I thought he should do. I told him to ditch and he dove for the cooler with the car keys and the phone in it. Mitch and I, still laughing, went after the gear as Tom swam for shore. After we had gathered the gear and reached shore, Tom and Kramer caught up to us. Mitch and I could do nothing but laugh at our counterparts who were drenched from head to toe. They obviously didnt think it was as funny.We eventually got on our way and the rest of the trip was relativly dry. Certainly a story for Kramer to tell as it was his first time canoeing. And a story that I am happy to tell people as I had a front row seat rather than a first hand experience. This might be one of those story's where you had to be there but trust me, it was hilarious.

On to the next accident. Yesterday I bought some clip in shoes for my bike. A bit more efficient in your pedal and what the hell they were on sale. A little present for myself as I found out I can work for the city for a couple of months. After a little tinkering today, I figured out how they work I tested them a few times on my block. For those of you who dont know. These shoes "clipped in" are attached to the pedals and you have to twist your foot to release your shoe. It seemed easy enough so I decided to take them on a ride. It was a beautiful day as I crossed through Lower North, across the bridge and hooked on to the Sahkata Trail. This trail meanders up through the woods along the South side of town and out towards Madison Lake and eventually Faribault. Going out was no problem, except for the fact that it is all uphill. I was about 12 miles out and found a good place to turn around. I was feeling good, I think the shoes actually helped with my pedal strenght and endurance. So I turned around and clipped my left foot in. I prepared to push off with my right and somehow I lost my balance. I fell to the left on my clipped in foot. Whoops. So obviously I cant get up. My bike has my left leg trapped to the ground. Sweet. So looking like an idiot I had to take my left shoe off, thank god for velcro, then I could unclip my shoe from the pedal. No harm no foul. I guess that has to happen sometime. So i was on my way back down the trail with no more than a bruised ego. I was making great time on the way back and I was less than 2 miles from home crossing the RR tracks by Riverfront Drive. (see one of the most heavily trafficked streets in Mankato) I was slowing down to wait for the light to change and I slipped my right heel out to unclip. This little slip of my heel sent me off balance and with both feet still clipped in I went down hard. My handle bar slammed down and took most of the impact. And somehow, magically both of my feet unclipped. I dont know how I would have gotten out of that one. So looking like an idiot in front of about 20 cars. I pick myself up. Obviously I missed the light and was to ashamed to wait there for another couple minutes as people laugh at me so I took of another way. With a bit of blood running down my right shin and some skin off my elbow, it definetly could have been worse. But my bike took the worst of it. My right gearshift and handlebar had been shoved inward and my seat had been cranked a bit as well. I had planned to go a bit further down the North Mankato side of the river but obviously I was in no mood for that for fear of another embarassing fall. So a little loosening and tightening adjusted the seat but I needed the vice grips to adjust the handlebars. Maybe next time I will avoid intersections and stop lights. stupid.

So that was the funny stuff. An update on me. I finally got a Rosetta Stone for Swahili so I have started that. A lot of unfamiliar sounds and confusing consanants. I have put off getting excited about Tanzania for another month or so. So if I dont know to much about my assignment or the country dont sue me. But I finally got the go ahead to work with Rick and the ballfield crew until I leave in June. Some more spending money I guess. Outdoors and some physical labor. pretty good deal.