Big Red Trucks

So winter is here in Minnesota. Snow, shitty roads and more snow. As I was driving to work one day I happened to stop at a light next to this huge loud red truck. The type that is lifted and made louder because this guy is awesome and you need to pay attention to him. I was in the outside lane of a double turn lane and he on the inside. As the light changed he sped ahead of me and took my lane after the curve. My words were probably something like 'douchebag you would'. But as I came up behind him at the next light I noticed his bumper stickers. The typical Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes, peeing on something. To my surprise it wasn't the Ford Logo (Another bumper sticker told me this guy drove a Chevy). Calvin was peeing on Iraq. This man had two of these bumper stickers in his back window along with a bumper sticker right above his back bumper that read 'Dont piss me off, I might confuse you for an Iraqi' This just baffled me.

I began mentally tearing this man apart and making fun of him from the comforts of my own car and his deaf ears. 'Good thing they didnt put a map of Iraq on that bumper sticker, he probably wouldn't know what it was' But it was the lower bumper sticker that really bothered me. I wondered if this man was pissed off at all Iraqis. He surely must be because otherwise he could have excluded the Kurds, who have nothing to do with the current religious turmoil. Or he could have excluded the innocent civilians who are put in danger everyday because of the religious Sunni AND Shia radicals who create the problems. Maybe this man knows more than I do, maybe he is a member of our armed forces... nope, no such bumper stickers telling me about his credentials, no license plate detailing his military career. So I am sorry but I held back as much as I could. Part of me would like to meet this person to find out how he actually came about the idea to put these bumper stickers on his truck for everyone to see. Bold move. I'm guessing this guy doesn't really care though. No skin off my back either. I just hope this guy knows that whenever he drives his truck he is subjecting himself to countless stereotypes and more people than not probably think less of him just by reading his truck. I surely wouldn't want people to judge me without ever even shaking my hand. But its a free country. Do whatever man.

The question I really want to know is where he got these bumper stickers. Who sells them? Do you need to get them from some anti-Iraq website or can you get them at Wal-Mart? Do the vendors of these stickers sell out? Can I get one in a different font? Can I get a 'Hug and Iraqi' bumper sticker too? Can I get a Calvin pissing on France or China? Because I really need to start putting my uniformed world views on my car so people can judge me.

Things that keep me up at night

I get enough sleep. If I dont have to get up early I usually set an alarm anyway so I dont get like 10 hours and feel groggy all day. I normally set my alarm about 8-8.5 hours after I go to bed. On average it has been taking me between a half an hour and an hour to fall asleep. Not ideal because that cuts into my optimum 8.5 hour sleeping regimine. The things that keep me up these days are pretty boring too. If I think about them during the day I think to myself, "who cares, dont worry about it" but they linger before bedtime. Packages falling on me when I worked at UPS were a nightly occurence. 4 hours of stacking packages in walls in semi trailers is a bit repetitive and it just sticks in your mind. The fact that it kept me up at night was rather depressing and a bit well.... stupid. So I quit that job.

Then came the fact that I didnt have as much of an income as I would like. So money kept me up at night. The fact that I am 23 and live at my parents house occupies my mind. I would like to have my own place eventually but that does not look like it is order in the near future. The unknown future is really the kicker. Small things like waiting to start another job can be pushed aside but larger ones like school for the next year of my life or a job interview that seems promising only to not get a call back. So I refer back to my PC days, or my pre PC days of waiting and taking whatevers there, which I hated. So there goes another 30 minutes off of my 8.5 hours.

I think about the people in Tanzania a lot too. Even though more and more are returning to the USA from my volunteer class, I still wonder how my friends are doing a half a world away. I only knew those people for 3 months but its hard to forget those people because of their attitudes and the experiences that we shared which are so foreign to the rest of the people I know.

So I have thought about moving my alarm back to maybe 9.5 hours to accomodate for this restlessness before sleep but I am too optimistic that the day will come when my mind isnt so jittery. I would have never thought that within a couple months span I would lose sleep over how my house is not snake proff and the rats that live there might just be enticing some in as well as the fact that I live with my parents in their house with a full kitchen and indoor plumbing. How is it possible that both bother me? I am not sure. A restless body waiting for the right opportunity I think.

"Timing is everything" and "If it feels good, do it" Two sayings that seem to rule my life. But the first always limits and the second always changes.